Don't Grab Your Pitchfork Just Yet...

She might be an awful leader - or she might just be exhausted

Last week a friend shared a video clip that was going viral on TikTok.

It featured a woman sitting in an office, talking during an online work meeting. She looked 40ish, with blonde hair pulled back in a messy pony, exposing dark roots. And she appeared tired – exhausted really – as she said to the group:

“I’m gonna tell you right now in my seven years of working here, this is the most picked to death and unkind I’ve ever felt from this group – and I’m highly disappointed in how this meeting’s going. 

Quite honestly, I could sit here and ask why I work 12-14 hours a day to try to keep this hospital up and running. 

And so, I’m sorry, but I think the comments are overboard. If you don’t like working here, then go someplace else.”

The speaker was later identified as Ascension St. Vincent's Central Region President Erica Wehrmeister.

And many were quick to judge her.

As someone whose spent 20 years working in communication, I had a lot of thoughts about her words and delivery, too.

I physically cringed when I heard the last line of her statement, and there were other cues that made the delivery feel cold and defensive. 

But I also had another feeling —

Curiosity.

We were given a 27-second clip of this meeting. 

But what happened before this part of the call? 

What was being discussed? 

What was said to Wehrmeister that was ‘unkind’ and had her feeling ‘picked to death’?

I have a lot of empathy for hospital staff – the nurses, doctors, and others on the frontline. And I also have empathy for people like Wehrmesiter, the administrators and leaders who are trying to keep the places operating after 18+ months of constant challenges.

I didn’t see a lot of empathy from the 2 million+ people who viewed this clip – and it highlights an important issue about leadership.

We want so much from our leaders. 

But leaders are people. 

They make mistakes.

This snippet may be a pattern for Wehrmeister – or maybe we are seeing a woman at her breaking point. If she’s working 12-14 hours a day, she’s probably exhausted. Burnt out. 

Just like the people she’s trying to lead.

To be clear, I am not giving her a pass or excusing her language. As a leader, she has to do better.

But if we want our leaders to be authentic, we need to recognize that they won’t always behave the way we want. They won’t always say or do the right thing. They will show emotion at work – whether it’s anger or sadness or frustration.

And no matter how smart or seasoned they are, they will make mistakes. 

But, they have the opportunity to show their true leadership capability when they respond to a mistake.

Do they have the humility and self-awareness to recognize when they misstep?

Do they have the curiosity to seek feedback from others?

Do they have the communication skills to listen, empathize, and apologize effectively?

I don’t know if this video is representative of how Wehrmeister normally communicates or not. You probably don’t either. 

And we only have 27 seconds to assess. We don’t know the context, the background, or any other details.

So before we judge her from a short sound bite, maybe we should pause.

Be curious.

Ask some questions.

And instead of kicking someone when they’re down, maybe we should help them find their way back up.

*****************************************************************
Beth Collier helps leaders and teams improve their communication skills, including storytelling, writing, and public speaking. She can’t solve your medical woes, but she can diagnose and resolve your communication problems.

*****************************************************************

Want a dose of fun in your inbox?

Sign up to receive my free newsletter, Curious Minds.

Each week you'll get insights that mix curiosity with business, history, or pop culture.

Be curious - and keep learning!