Five Communication Lessons From a Poorly Written School Letter
A letter from my child’s school made my blood boil - but it offers up five important communication lessons everyone should know.
I’m always on the lookout for examples that illustrate why communication is so important. And last week, one was handed to me. Or actually, slipped in my mailbox.
It was a letter from the new 'Education Welfare Officer' at my child’s school. It began with an introduction, and then advised me that my child’s attendance this year was below the school’s 95% target.
It was a standard form letter sent to the parents of any child who missed more than 8 days of school over the year. Attached to the letter was a record showing the days our child had missed, noting if the absences were authorized or not.
It’s worth noting that my child is five years old, and started school last September. Illness (and subsequent absence) in a child’s first year of school is not unusual. As any working parent can tell you, it’s much more convenient when a child attends school. A child’s illness adds pressure on parents who then need to schedule medical appointments, time off work, and alternative childcare at short notice.
It starts with irregular attendance
The first paragraph of the letter mentioned that my child’s ‘irregular attendance’ has been a concern for ‘some time now.’
This was the first time it had been mentioned to me.
The letter continued:
‘Although there have been reasons given for some of the absences, such a level is extremely worrying’.
The accompanying record showed that reasons were given for all absences, thus they were authorized.
Moves to legal responsibilities
The note then went into a Parent-Child tone:
‘The law is clear that it is your responsibility as parents to ensure that your child receives full time education and this requires arrival at school at the correct time.’
I actually noticed my body physically react when I read this line – as if I was under attack and being both chastised and threatened. I realize that was probably not the intent, but that’s the tricky thing about communication – sometimes what you say is different from what someone else hears.
It seemed to imply that we have failed (or are failing) to meet our legal responsibilities as parents. It also implies that we have not had our child at school at the correct time (again, the accompanying record showed that my child has always been on time).
Followed by threats of legal proceedings
Then it got worse, saying there was a possibility the Education Department would consider ‘legal proceedings’ or issue us with a ‘Penalty Notice’ (I have no idea what this is, but it doesn’t sound good).
The letter closed by encouraging us to ‘seek help and advice in rectifying matters.’
It does not say what help we should seek, and there were no contact details to respond or ask questions.
What’s the cost of this?
Parents like us who received this letter were angry and confused – and many called the school to complain. This led to wasted time for the administration, and a headache that could have been avoided. The person I spoke to said he understood my child had been ill, and that there was nothing to worry about – the letter was meant to be an ‘introduction’ from a new staff member.
It didn’t feel like an introduction, but if that was the intent, what kind of impression has this person made? After feeling attacked and judged, how might parents respond to future correspondence?
And it’s not just a poor impression that’s been made with the parents. The author also made an impression on the school administrators (i.e., her bosses) who had to go into damage control to assure parents there is no need to panic and apologize for the way this was handled.
The reputation of the school administration is also impacted. Did they approve this letter or suggest this approach? Most parents are sensitive to anything regarding their children (or their children's education).
So, what should have been done?
What frustrates me about this situation is that it could have been avoided by following some simple communication guidelines:
1. Start with curiosity.
If I had been asked about my child’s absences, I would have shared my concerns (I want my child to be healthy and attend school, too). I would have happily provided details about my child’s illnesses, and the advice I’d been given from our doctor.
Ask questions. Have some empathy. Be curious about a situation rather than making assumptions. Asking questions can build rapport and connections, and also gives you insight that may help in the future.
2. Think about what you want to achieve.
Was the point of this letter to raise awareness or solicit an action? Is my child required to have a doctor’s note for any future absences? The way this letter was written, it’s unclear what I’m actually supposed to do.
Before you send any communication, think about its purpose. What is the outcome you’re seeking? What do you want the recipient to do as a result? Make sure the purpose is clear for the reader – as well as the actions required and next steps.
3. Consider the audiences.
There will be many children whose attendance is below the 95 percent threshold. There will be cases where absence is severe, or where it has been an issue for many years. Those may require more support and action from the school.
Other cases may be easily explained – a case of chicken pox or pneumonia that has been a one-off situation. Some simple conversations with teachers could have revealed which cases needed the most attention, and then the communication could have been tailored accordingly.
Can you segment your audience in any way? Are there messages that need to be tailored for specific groups? Make sure your communication is relevant for each audience group and that it is clear what they need to know or do.
4. Choose words carefully – and be mindful of your tone.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Words matter. Words matter. Words matter.
This letter had several poor word choices (as well as inaccuracies). Small changes would have made a huge impact.
How do you want your reader to feel? Watch out for emotive language, and make sure your tone is appropriate for the message you want to convey. Choose your words carefully: they influence how your reader will feel – and how they will respond.
5. Choose the right channel.
If this situation was ‘extremely worrying’, it warranted a phone call or a face-to-face meeting. Either option would have been more effective than a generic letter.
What is the best channel for your message? Email can be faster in the short-term – but not if you spend hours doing damage control later. And people can often misinterpret tone when they only have the written words to absorb. Personal conversations are best done in person – or at least on the phone. When someone can see you, they can see your body language and facial expressions, hear your tone, and ask questions at the time.
BONUS TIP: Give contact details.
People may have questions or want more information. Make it easy for them to reach out to you by offering at least one way to contact you.
And, even better: use positive language in this space. Instead of saying, ‘Please don’t hesitate to contact me’, use a more inviting: ‘Please contact me if you have any questions’.
It’s a better use of language, and adds both clarity and friendliness to your closing.
Following these tips will make your communication more effective – and ultimately help you achieve your results.
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