Go Hug Yourself
Is this really going to fix gender inequality?
On Thursday, I saw a picture online that caught my eye.
It was of a woman in her late 20s/early 30.
Her eyes were closed, her lips were smiling softly, and her hands were folded across her chest to the opposite shoulder like she was giving herself a hug.
Above the photo it read: “Send in Your #EmbraceEquity images.”
What is this?
My curiosity took over, and I went to google and typed “Embrace Equity” into the search bar.
Then I was taken to a site about International Women’s Day, where I saw more photos – of what businesswoman Cindy Gallop refers to as “carefully curated diversity.”
There were women – mostly in their 20s or 30s, though they snuck a woman who looked 50+ in there, too – all smiling (and some with eyes closed) as they hugged themselves.
What is this about?
Ah, well it said the theme for International Women’s Day 2023 is “Embrace Equity” – followed by this prose:
We can all truly embrace equity.
It's not just something we say. It's not just something we write about.
It's something we need to think about, know, and embrace.
It's what we believe in, unconditionally.
OK, but why are all these women hugging themselves?
I read on.
“Equity means creating a fair and equal world.”
And we can “actively support and embrace equity within our own sphere of influence.”
What followed was a word salad filled with revelations like “being included and belonging feels good.”
OK…
And then a request to “strike the IWD pose” on social media.
Sorry, are we voguing our way to equality now?
This is probably all well-intentioned, but can we please stop with this kind of talk?
International Women’s Day is about recognizing and celebrating the achievement of women and girls, but its roots trace back nearly 200 years, when American women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott were gathering others to demand women’s rights.
And while American women have made great strides (e.g. we can vote, we can get an education, we can work in and outside of the home), there is still a lot of work to be done.
Instead of hugging ourselves, how about we raise awareness of the issues women are facing right now?
Let’s talk about the research that says age discrimination for working women can start as early as 35, and the limited time women have between “babe and hag” that The New York Times reported earlier this month.
Let’s talk about the motherhood penalty and the exorbitant cost of childcare that forces so many women out of the workforce – and how they are often penalized when they try to return years later.
Let’s talk about how lawmakers in Missouri in 2023 are debating what “professional dress” means – and adopting a new dress code in the state House – but just for women.
Why talk about the economy or education when you can talk about the appropriate lengths of sleeves?
And let’s talk about the physical dangers women and girls are still facing today.
So instead of taking a selfie of you hugging yourself, here are some other things you can do to help women right now:
Ask women what they think – and listen. Don’t interrupt.
Don’t take credit for a woman’s idea.
Don’t ask women to work for free (especially at International Women’s Day events!).
If a pregnant candidate is the best candidate for the job, hire them.
Don’t assume a woman isn’t ambitious just because she procreates.
Don’t make sexist comments – or sit by and let your co-workers make them either.
Ask women about their goals – and how you can help them achieve them.
Read a non-fiction book written by a woman.
Think of ways to support women throughout the year – not just on March 8th.
And, one more thing…
It turns out that “Embrace Equity” is the theme for an International Women’s Day website, but not the official United Nations campaign.
The United Nations theme for International Women’s Day 2023 is “DigitALL: Innovation and technology for gender equality.”
So instead of “embracing equity,” the United Nations suggests we focus on equality though innovation and technology.
Given this image I saw of the latest co-hort from a Silicon Valley founders program, it looks like there is a lot of work to do.
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Beth Collier loves writing, pop culture, and championing women.
She also loves helping companies, leaders, and teams improve their communication (and creativity and leadership) through consulting, coaching, and workshops.
Her clients benefit from Beth’s global corporate experience, Midwestern practicality and enthusiasm, and an endless supply of pop culture references.
To find out how Beth can help you become a more confident, creative, and compelling leader – or improve communication in your company – visit www.beth-collier.com or drop her a line at beth@beth-collier.com
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