How to Make a Friend in 15 Minutes
Here's a tip: Start with curiosity...
Last month I picked up a history book in the British Library.
“Do you know who would really like this?” I asked my husband.
“Who?”
“Jesse.”
“Who’s Jesse?” he asked.
“He’s this guy who I know – but don’t really know – on LinkedIn,” I said. “He writes posts about ‘this day in history’.”
Jesse and I connected back in February, after I noticed some of his interesting history tidbits in my LinkedIn newsfeed. Some of his posts are reminders of events from my youth, and others are stories I haven’t heard before (like the story of Charlotte May Pierstorff, a 4-year-old girl who was ‘shipped’ 73 miles to see her grandparents in 1914 – via the US Postal Service).
I messaged Jesse on LinkedIn earlier this year to tell him I enjoyed his posts, and asked how he sourced and chose his anecdotes. I thought it was interesting that these posts were shared by a lawyer from Buffalo, NY (rather than a historian or teacher).
So, I know a bit about him, but I don’t really know him.
How connected are we, really?
And isn’t that what’s funny about LinkedIn? We often connect with people, but only superficially.
Maybe someone sends you an invite, perhaps they even personalize it saying why they want to connect. But, in my experience, after that initial connection request, the conversation usually goes 1 of 2 ways.
Either it turns into, “I’d love to talk to you about the product I’m selling” (that has no link to the work I do) – or it just stops completely.
But what if we tried a different approach?
Being a curious person who loves stories, I reached out to Jesse to find out more.
I told him I was writing a piece about connections, and toying with this idea about the connections we make on LinkedIn. I asked if he’d have a quick chat with me, and mentioned that I wasn’t trying to sell him anything. I just wanted to have a chat.
And, to my delight, he agreed.
It was the classic curiosity conversation. I had no other objective than to hear his story. I was curious why he started posting the history updates, and where he finds his inspiration.
And what did I find out?
Jesse told me he used to listen to Garrison Keillor’s Writer’s Almanac on the radio during his drive to work. It was just a five-minute escape between the chaos of the morning routine (with five kids in the house) and transitioning into lawyer mode at the office.
But then, Garrison Keillor was accused of sexual harassment and misconduct. And that was the end of the radio program.
“I really missed it,” Jesse said. “It was part of my morning ritual, and it was just a little enjoyment on my way to work.”
So, Jesse started doing his own history searched – and sharing what he found on LinkedIn.
“I type the date into google and see what comes up,” he said. “I look for what captures my imagination.”
His followers on LinkedIn have grown over the three years he’s posted his history anecdotes – and now stand at more than 11,000. Some people even give him a nudge when the posts are late.
“It’s funny to get messages from people – who never like or comment on my posts – but who notice when the posts are late. I didn’t even know they read or liked them!”
And which posts do people find most engaging?
“The most popular post I’ve had – by far – was about Dolly Parton. That one had 37,000 reactions,” he said.
He doesn’t write about history to generate revenue or solicit business, but he did say it has changed the way some people interact with him at work and networking events.
“I think it makes me more approachable,” he said. “I do it for fun. It’s great if it takes people back or gives them a few minutes of inspiration.”
“The posts connect people in a unique way,” he said.
“And we all want to connect with people.”
Beth Collier brings her curiosity into her communication coaching and workshops. She loves meeting people and hearing their stories. If you want to become a better speaker, writer, or leader, Beth would love to hear your story. Contact her at beth@beth-collier.com to schedule a free no-obligation call. You can also find out about her services here.