Melanie Lynskey is My New Hero
What’s it like to be a mom with a career?
It’s hard. Even when you’re famous.
Melanie accepting the Best Actress in a Drama Series at the Critics Choice
Melanie Lynskey looked absolutely surprised to be winning the Critics Choice Award for Best Actress in a Drama last week.
She gave a sweet, heartfelt speech where she thanked the usuals: her castmates, her agent, and her husband.
But then she did something that I’ve never seen anyone do in an awards speech.
She thanked her nanny.
“The most important person I think I have to thank, and then I think I’m finished, is my nanny, Sally,” she said.
“I love her.”
The audience responded with applause and laughter, as Lynskey continued praising her nanny:
“She's an absolute angel. She's with my child and my child is safe and taken care of and she allows me to go and do my work.”
“Thank you, Sally. I love you so much.”
And in that moment, Melanie Lynskey did more for women than hundreds of companies did with their box-ticking social media posts on International Women’s Day.
She told the world what a woman really needs to have a career and raise her family.
She needs help.
Some people are lucky enough to have family around who can help out, but a lot of parents are dependent on nurseries and daycares and others they employ.
And even when you have help, it’s still a struggle.
Kids get sick and can’t go to school or nursery.
Nannies get sick.
Schools take long breaks, and nurseries and nannies take holiday. Holiday clubs are oversubscribed, and still only cover a fraction of the working day.
Even with the best help, you can still have gaps.
I was reminded of this earlier in the week, when I was preparing for a virtual storytelling workshop for a large corporate client.
I like to be ready long before the session begins, and during my tech check-in (before the session started), my client got to meet my six-year-old son.
Because he was home with Covid.
And I have a nanny.
But at that moment, my nanny was picking up my daughter from school. My husband was at the office.
So my son was coloring next to me for 10 minutes while I made sure everything was ready for my workshop.
It wasn’t ideal, but it was fine. It didn’t affect my work – and I trusted the client (a parent) would understand.
And I didn’t have any other choice.
That’s a minor example.
In the olden days, when both my husband and I were commuting to town every day for work, we would have ‘Blackberry Roulette’ when our nanny was sick, checking our meetings to determine who was ‘more important’ to be in the office that day.
Even the best childcare is not foolproof — no matter who you are.
Having kids is wonderful. I wouldn’t change it, and I’m not complaining.
What I wish is that more people would follow Lynskey’s lead, and speak honestly about how they juggle their parental responsibilities and career ambitions.
I wish people (particularly women) would speak more openly about the challenges and sacrifices they’ve made in their personal life to have their career success.
Women don’t need to see glamorous female CEOs talking about how they ‘have it all’ unless those CEOs are willing to be real about the cost of having it all.
Because there is always a cost.
And I wish that we would shine the spotlight on more examples of ‘successful women’ – because most women do not have Kim Kardashian or Sheryl Sandberg’s income, nor the options that come with it.
The woman CEO who ‘does it all’ often has the same secret weapon a male CEO has – a partner who picks up the slack.
Or paid help that does.
It’s easier to focus on your career when you have a team of people managing the other responsibilities in your life.
Do you think Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos ever spent their evenings organizing playdates or folding socks when they got home from work?
Were they worrying about the kids’ costumes for World Book Day or researching venues and entertainers for their kid’s birthday party?
They were able to focus on their work — because they had help.
Just like Melanie Lynskey does.
And none of them would have the same career success without it.
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Beth Collier helps companies, leaders and teams improve their communication, creativity, and leadership through consulting, coaching, and workshops.
She brings her clients global corporate experience, Midwestern practicality and enthusiasm – and an endless supply of pop culture references.
To find out how she can help you become a more confident, creative, and compelling leader or improve communication in your company, visit www.beth-collier.com or drop her a line at beth@beth-collier.com
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