Thank you, next
I’m so grateful for my ex (managers)
It’s performance review time for many people now. And perhaps it’s a coincidence, but my LinkedIn feed is full of memes, quotes and articles about bad managers.
People are talking about the managers they’ve quit, or the ones who haven’t supported them, or how the right manager is more important than the right job.
It got me thinking about the managers I’ve had over the years: a diverse mix of nationalities, an equal split of men and women, and people across the spectrum.
But maybe it’s the season, or the fact that I’ve been listening to Ariana Grande like a 16 year-old superfan, but I feel full of gratitude for all of them. Every boss has given me something, and taught me lessons about leadership, people, and myself.
Ariana’s new hit is about her ex-boyfriends, but the lyrics apply to ex-bosses: ‘One taught me patience, and one taught me pain.’ Like Ariana’s relationships, there are some bosses I thought I’d be with for a long time, and others I stayed with longer than intended, but I’m ‘thankful for what I got’.
Former managers, thank you for:
1. The little ways you showed care
My most memorable birthday at work was when my boss Janet and the production team of Days of Our Lives surprised me with a cake and sang to me (even our earnest executive producer joined in). I felt that sense of care years later when Chris supported and encouraged my move to London, and when Margaret (and my team) showed care and compassion when I was pregnant. It wasn’t about gifts – it was about care. The small gestures can – and do – mean a lot.
Do you know your people? Do you know about their families, their interests, their dreams? If not, ask questions and find out who they are, and what matters to them.
2. Listening and supporting me
Sometimes we need managers to listen – sometimes we need managers to act. I remember – and still appreciate – the support Sian gave me during a particularly challenging point of a project. It was just what I needed at the time – the right balance of empathy and action.
Are you in tune with how your people are feeling? Are you asking the right questions – and truly listening? The best managers listen to their people, know how they are feeling, and take action to support them.
3. Trusting me
When I started working for Mike, he told me his management style was ‘laissez-faire’. He hired people who knew what they were doing, and then got out of the way so they could get things done. I knew he was there if I needed him, but working for someone who trusts you is so much better than having a micromanager looking over your shoulder.
Take care to hire the right people – and then get out of the way so they can do what you hired them to do.
4. Giving me opportunities to learn and grow
A short stint for David turned out to be a huge learning opportunity for me. I discovered an aptitude and an interest in something unexpected, and stayed longer than I intended because of it. I constantly had new opportunities to experiment, learn and develop. He supported me as I followed my curiosity and I’m grateful for it.
The best managers stretch and develop their people. Share your knowledge and contacts, and find opportunities for them to discover their talents and interests.
5. Saying thank you
I’ve had managers who were great when it came to recognition. Their thanks came in the form of small gifts and even monetary bonuses. But the most important recognition (that falls within any budget) is simply saying thank you.
It doesn’t take long to say thanks, but it can reap huge rewards in loyalty and engagement. A thank you* is even more impactful when you’re specific about why you’re thanking the person and the impact they’ve had.
Show your team that you are a manager who recognizes and values their contributions. Role model and support a culture of recognition and appreciation.
Bonus: Making me stronger
Not all lessons feel good. I had a manager who put me through some pain, but years later, I’m grateful for the experience, because it made me stronger. I may have been burned, but I recovered. I’m still the optimistic person I was before, though maybe a bit tougher now. And that’s OK.
So to those of you struggling with a manager (and I know there are many of you), be grateful for the lessons from your managers and colleagues, and then follow Ariana’s lead.
Thank you, next.
*I am big fan of the hand-written thank you note, but an email or verbal thanks is fine, too.
Do you know employees in creative cultures are happier and more productive? My new Ignite Your Creativity workshop is designed to help teams strengthen their creativity – and build the creative culture. Drop me a line at beth@listenengage.com and let’s chat about how I can help you use your creativity to strengthen your team culture, solve problems, and innovate.