Think You’re a Great Communicator? Think again.

Many senior leaders have no idea how much their communication is affecting the people around them

Over the years, I’ve met a lot of leaders who didn’t think they needed much help with their communication.

They had senior positions. They earned a lot of money.

Why did they need to bother with improving their communication skills?

Because communication matters.

It is the skill that helps you get your ideas across, build and nurture relationships, influence and inspire people.

And when people ask me the ROI on communication, I’m happy to make the business case.

I can quote studies and research that illustrate the cost of poor communication and disengaged employees. (Gallop put it at $350 billion a year last year – and that was just in the US).

But I find there is a simpler question to ask leaders:

What’s your reputation worth?

Because every time you speak, send an email or report, you’re giving people an impression. They will pay attention to your words, your tone, and the feeling they get from the interaction.

Too often, I see people who really need communication help, but they don’t realize it.

Or sometimes they know they need it, but they are too proud (or too scared) to admit it. So they dodge the speaking opportunities, or they surround themselves with sycophants after their Town Halls who will lavish them with false praise.

They don’t know how to communicate effectively – and their audience (often the employees they want to engage or the customers they want to serve) suffers.

Their business suffers.

And their reputations suffer, too.

Case in point: Recently, I listened to a podcast conversation that illustrated how unaware some people are of the communication – and leadership – mistakes they are making.

It was a podcast interview about sexual harassment in the advertising industry titled Afraid to Come Forward. Host Bob Knorpp was joined by two women, Farrah Bostic and Cindy Gallop, and one man, David Spark.

The discussion centered around a recent article that detailed how one woman – and many others – have been on the receiving end of sexual harassment and assault in the advertising industry. Bostic and Gallop had a closeness to the situation, and I quickly formed an impression of them as they spoke.

They came across as articulate, knowledgeable, and passionate about the topic.

In fact, listening to them talk was like watching Serena and Venus Williams on the tennis court in 2001.

Just give them a ball and get out of their way. They know what they’re doing.

But the male guest on the podcast – David Spark – entered the court like a man who had never held a racket.

If Bostic and Gallop were Venus and Serena, Spark was the guy who got cut from his junior high tennis team – but felt like his John McEnroe poster made him an expert.

And just as Bostic and Gallop’s communication made an impression, so did Spark’s.

His first contribution to the conversation was to jump on Bostic’s ideas of dismantling advertising’s ‘Star Model’ and cutting executive salaries.

“You can’t offer unrealistic solutions. I mean, seriously,” he said, his words dripping with condescension. “You know that’s not realistic.”

“What is a realistic solution?” Bostic asked in response. “We complain, we sue, and nothing else happens. I think it is time to start talking about ‘unrealistic solutions.’”

“Everything can have limits, and you as an organization have to determine what those limits are,” Spark replied.

Umm...limits on how much sexual harassment is OK?

During the conversation, Spark spoke over the women, even thought they clearly knew more about the subject. He was both aggressive in his approach and dismissive of their ideas.

Bostic and Gallop, by contrast, were calm and clear as they explained the depth of sexual harassment and assault in advertising. They talked about the role HR plays in perpetuating the problem and the challenge NDAs present.

They spoke of the need for investigative journalism to highlight the business issue sexual harassment and assault payouts truly are, and to signal to women, HR, and the holding companies that these issues can no longer be swept under the rug with an NDA.

Spark returned to the conversation to offer his solution to the problem: Zero-tolerance policies.

Gallop quickly jumped in to tell him that every single holding company and agency has already said they have a zero-tolerance policy.

“And it’s changed nothing,” she said.

Spark suggested that leaders also need to encourage women to go to HR and stress that “all complaints will be taken seriously.”

Bostic countered by illustrating how compliance functions work, and how the structure is designed to protect the company – not the person making a claim. She explained that having a ‘zero tolerance policy’ doesn’t work under these conditions.

Bostic and Gallop came to this conversation prepared. They were armed with research, insights, and expertise. They spoke with authority, with passion, and illustrated their points with evidence.

Spark couldn’t keep up with them – and that would have been fine if he had shown more curiosity and interest in what they were saying. He could have shown a willingness to listen and learn, and presented himself as someone who wants to help be part of the solution.

To his credit, in the closing moments, Spark did show his appreciation for the two women and recognized them as experts, but it wasn’t enough to undo the impression that he’d already made.

And I was left wondering how the speakers felt after the interview finished.

Spark probably felt it went fine.

As for Bostic and Gallop? They may have felt differently.

They may have found the experience similar to the way I did – a frustrating, all-too-familiar example of what so many women experience. Men who don’t listen. Men who talk over women. Men who aren’t interested in our ideas or expertise.

And there are a lot of men in leadership positions who communicate like Spark.

It’s easy to write them off as assholes (and some of them are), but I believe a lot of them have no idea how they are coming across, or the impact their communication is having on others.

That may be because they’ve never asked for feedback. Or maybe it’s because people have never felt comfortable or confident enough to give them honest feedback.

But this podcast illustrates beautifully why communication is such an important skill.

In one conversation, the speakers all had an opportunity to enhance their reputations, build relationships, and influence and inspire people.

Two people succeeded – and one failed.

When it comes to poor communication like this, it’s hard to assign a figure on a balance sheet against it.

But trust me, there is always a cost.

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When Beth Collier says she’s passionate about helping people improve their communication skills, she really means it. Because she knows that when you improve your communication skills, you really do improve your life — and the lives of others.

Through executive coaching and workshops, Beth helps leaders and teams around the world strengthen their writing, storytelling, and public speaking skills. Her approach is influenced by 20 years of experience supporting leaders and teams around the world in a variety of industries.

She is also relentlessly curious — and loves writing stories that mix curiosity with business, history and pop culture. Sign up to receive insights from her weekly newsletter, Curious Minds.

Be curious - and keep learning!