What Do Women Really Want?
Ah, it’s nearly ‘Mothering Sunday’ – aka Mother’s Day in the UK. As this falls in March, it’s also Women’s History Month, so women (whether or not they are mothers) have been on my mind.
First up, women in general.
As a lover of words and communication, I am always on the lookout for communication examples (the good, the bad, and the ugly). Earlier this week, my friend Lauren sent me this ad with the line ‘One for your Rant Bank.’
Wonder why she thought I’d have a reaction to this one?
Remember that movie Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger?
That movie was made in 1991.
If the little boy in Arnie’s class could say the word ‘vagina,’ why do so many adults in marketing and advertising struggle to say it 31 years later?
Next up - Mothers
Friend Lauren also found this gem for me, the lyrics to a song about mothers. Sophie Hill shared it on twitter earlier this week, saying her 6-year-old niece was learning it for a school assembly in England.
Take a look at these lyrics:
I asked my 8-year-old if she knew what a degree was. She didn’t. I think it’s safe to assume my 6-year-old son wouldn’t know either.
Young kids don’t care if their parents have degrees.
And even parents who have degrees are turning to google to learn that Samuel Pepys buried his cheese during the Great Fire of London.
We’re also finding out that some of the ‘facts’ we were taught are no longer true. I mean, when did Pluto lose its status as a planet?! I was not consulted.
There goes that helpful ‘My very eager mother just served us nine pizzas’ mnemonic I was taught to remember the order of the planets.
How are kids learning to remember the planets now?
I like that this mother is ‘educated.’ The one I was taught was ‘eager.’
Also, when I asked my daughter what she loved most about me, she rattled off things like I go to her dance performances and help her learn songs and I read books with her.
She did not say, ‘that you graduated magna cum laude from university.’
She also did not mention cooking or cleaning, and ‘making tea’ (aka dinner). I thought she’d remember those homemade organic purees forever!
Sure moms do these things, but so do dads.
This song does seem to be written about a specific mom. And I knew that any criticism of these lyrics would be used to further the divide between stay-at-home mothers and working mothers.
Now, before anyone rants at me, let me stress that this is not a ‘stay-at-home mom vs working mom’ debate.
Do you know what I think moms should do?
Whatever works for their family.
If you want to stay at home, great. If you want to work for pay, great. Most women don’t feel they have an option.
And they all need support – not judgment.
And a better song…
Sidenote: The company who wrote this gem also has a song about dads. It does not mention cooking or cleaning. It also describes dads as ‘clever’ and ‘genius.’
The company issued a statement saying they no longer promote these songs because they recognize they are ‘outdated.’
And finally … to my last point, Grandmothers.
Although I celebrate Mother’s Day on the US date in May (mostly so I remember to recognize my mother and sister), I have to buy my cards now, while the UK shops stock cards for Mothering Sunday.
Check out these choices for Grandma…
Flowers. Tea kettles. Butterflies.
Doesn’t the artwork remind you of something you send after someone dies – or when they are about to?
My mom is 75. I realize that’s not young, but she’s living an active life in Florida. She bikes every morning, takes walks, and goes to water aerobics and yoga with other people in her neighborhood.
Retirement means she now has time to do things she didn’t have time for when she was working full-time and raising kids.
These are not cards for her. Or for a lot of other grandmothers.
Grandmas today don’t look like the grandmas I saw growing up. Madonna is 63, Paula Abdul is 59. They could both be grandmothers.
Look at them. I’m not talking about their appearance, but their level of activity. They are singing, dancing, and performing on stages.
Paula (at 59) still has the moves she had in the 1980s..
A lot of women who become grandmothers (whether they are in their 50s, 60s, or 70s) are active, too.
So why are greeting card companies treating grandmothers like they are all dull and fragile?
Not all grandmas will know Tom Hardy and RuPaul, but they might prefer those to a card that treats them like they have one foot in the grave.
So … as Women’s History Month comes to a close next week, here are three things I’d like to see become part of women’s history:
Shaming or infantilizing women about their bodies. Grown women do not giggle when they hear the word ‘vagina.’ We can handle it.
Pitting mothers against each other. Let’s celebrate all the incredible things that mothers do – and support women instead of judging them.
Having a myopic, outdated view of who grandmothers are. Grandmas today can play Tic-Tac-Toe and make TikTok videos.
****************************************************************************
Beth Collier helps companies, leaders and teams improve their communication (and creativity and leadership) through consulting, coaching, and workshops.
Her clients benefit from Beth’s global corporate experience, Midwestern practicality and enthusiasm – and an endless supply of pop culture references.
To find out how Beth can help you become a more confident, creative, and compelling leader – or improve communication in your company – visit www.beth-collier.com or drop her a line at beth@beth-collier.com
__________________________________________
Want a dose of positivity and fun in your inbox?
Sign up to receive my free newsletter, Curious Minds.
Each week you'll get insights that mix curiosity with business, history, or pop culture.