What I Learned About Kindness in Ireland
Once upon a time, I met a nice boy in Ireland.
You may think you know where this is going, but it’s not that kind of story.
It was exactly 17 years ago – August, 2002. My boyfriend was doing a summer law school program at Trinity College in Dublin. I went over to visit him as he was finishing so we could travel around Ireland together.
We had been dating for 4 years, and a lot of people expected that we would get engaged in Ireland.
But we didn’t get engaged.
We broke up.
Warning – this part is sad
There I was, completely alone and heartbroken, in Ireland. No friends, no family. And five long days to kill before I left.
I went to a Talk Shop – the place travelers and backpackers went to make international calls back then, and spent three hours calling Mom, Dad, my sister and best friend back home.
I went to pay the bill and the guy behind the counter looked at my calls. ‘USA, USA, USA, USA…Somebody’s missing home!’
‘I came here to see my boyfriend, but we broke up,’ I told him.
He looked at me sympathetically.
‘Do you have any friends in Ireland?’ he asked.
‘No, I have no friends here. I know no one,’ I told him.
He took a piece of paper and scribbled something quickly, then handed it to me. The paper said ‘Neil’ and had a phone number.
‘Now you have a friend in Ireland,” he said warmly.
We spoke for a bit, me clearly oversharing my life with a complete stranger.
‘Look, I’m going to visit me mum tomorrow,’ Neil said. ‘It’s a beautiful part of the country. If you and your boyfriend don’t patch things up and you want to go see another part of Ireland, give me a call.”
I thanked him, but thought the odds of me calling him were slim to none. But it was nice to have a friendly exchange with someone, and to feel a bit of care (even if it was from a stranger).
The next day things hadn’t improved with my boyfriend. I walked around the grounds of Trinity College and around Dublin while he was taking a test, and then saw a phone booth.
I pulled the paper out of my purse, and a few coins, and called Neil.
Hitting the road with a stranger
I packed my stuff in a small bag, putting my passport, cash and credit cards in the hidden document wallet I could wear around my neck. I remember thinking if I had to jump from a speeding car, I’d have what I needed.
This was not the kind of thing I would normally do. I didn’t even know Neil’s last name, or where we were going. But my gut said he was a nice person and I would be fine.
And my gut was right.
Neil told me he’d pick me up in an hour. (He didn’t tell me then, but he was already on his way to his mom’s when I called. He had to drive back an hour to Dublin to pick me up).
He called his mother and asked her to make up the guest room for a girl named Beth who he was bringing home.
‘Who’s Beth?’ she asked.
‘I’ve no idea,’ he told her.
But a few hours later, I was meeting his mom. I met his brother, his sister-in-law and his young nieces who loved schooling me about the Irish boyband, Westlife. I saw some beautiful scenery and experienced some real kindness and Irish craic – when I desperately needed it.
The next day Neil drove me to another town so I could catch a bus to Belfast. I thanked him, gave him a hug and said goodbye.*
Neil didn’t think he had done that much for me – but he did. His kindness has stayed with me all these years. He didn’t have to help me – but he did. He told me that maybe one day I could pay it back to someone else.
And in 2009, while traveling in Bali with my fiancé, I met someone who needed help. I thought about how Neil had helped me – and I returned the favor.
So what?
I share this story because I hope it will encourage someone to pass on the kindness that Neil showed me. You don’t have to rescue a traveler to have an impact. There will be people in your life – friends, family members, and work colleagues – who would appreciate your kindness. A phone call, a note, an encouraging word. That’s all it takes. Kindness, like a lot of things, is contagious, and we all have opportunities to help others.
Though I haven't seen Neil again, last week I found him on LinkedIn. So now I get another chance to say thank you – and tell him how much his kindness meant to me.
*Were you expecting romance? I told you, it’s not that kind of story.
I love helping people become better communicators and leaders – and yes, my approach involves kindness! If you want to improve your speaking or writing skills, and gain confidence and respect, drop me a line at beth@listenengage.com
You can find out more about my other services and how I help people strengthen their writing, speaking, and creativity skills on www.beth-collier.com.