Bradley Cooper Doesn't Deserve That
Why ya gotta be so mean?
Yesterday I went for a walk with some famous actors.
You may know who they are – Bradley Cooper, Will Arnett, Jason Bateman, and Sean Hayes.
Yeah, I was listening to a podcast hosted by Arnett, Bateman and Hayes – and Cooper was their guest. (Though if any of them want to stroll through a London park, I am up for discussing the underrated gem that was Arrested Development, musical theatre, and the differences between the US and UK).
I’d never heard the podcast Smartless, but it was a beautiful day and the trains were on strike, so I had 45 minutes to listen while I walked home.
And about 25 minutes in, their conversation got really interesting.
The hosts were commenting about Cooper’s success and his Oscar nominations (he has nine), and Cooper told a story about an experience he had at an industry party a few years back, at a time when he had seven nominations.
He was chatting with an actress when a director he admired asked how many Academy Award nominations they each had.
Cooper said he had seven, and the actress shared she had three, to which the director said:
“What world are we living in where you have SEVEN nominations and she has three?”
Well, the obvious answer would have been to note that Cooper has been nominated as an actor, producer, and writer. That’s how he has more nominations than Laura Linney, Emma Stone, and Penelope Cruz.
To further illustrate how messed up Hollywood is, Cooper shared another story about a party he attended after he was nominated for his first Oscar.
It was a huge moment for him to be nominated with “Daniel Fucking Day Lewis” and Denzel Washington.
“I couldn’t believe it – I’m like, levitating,” he said.
Bradley Cooper, Oscar-nominated actor, producer and writer
And while at an industry party, a ‘hero female actress’ that he didn’t know came up to him and said:
“I saw your movie. You deserve the nom.’”
“I said, ‘What? I’m sorry?’”
“The nom,” she repeated.
“Then like 10 or 20 minutes later – I’m not kidding – I passed her going to the bathroom and she mouths it: ‘The nom.’”
It was as if the actress wanted to make a point that Cooper didn’t have a chance of winning (a view he probably already held).
The actors all commented how crazy Hollywood is, and that people say these kinds of things.
Cooper later admitted that earlier in his career he had used ‘mean humor’ to try to connect and impress other people.
He talked about how insecure he was, and how embarrassed he feels now knowing he hurt people’s feelings.
He also opened up about how he struggled with drug and alcohol addiction – and that it was Arnett who helped him realize he had a problem and needed help.
Arnett and Cooper’s friendship goes back decades
During the conversation Cooper shared so openly about having no self-esteem, and feeling ‘worthless.’
And it wasn’t in a ‘woe is me’ way – it was matter-of-fact, like ‘this is how I behaved, and it wasn’t OK, and I’m embarrassed by it, and I’m not that person anymore.’
He was candid and vulnerable, and the whole conversation felt like listening to four dudes who genuinely liked and cared about each other.
It was a nice conversation – and there is a story here.
It’s a story of four grown men being brave enough to be vulnerable, share their feelings, and admit their shortcomings.
They’ve learned from their mistakes and have grown – and are still growing.
And it’s a story because while Gen Z might be more comfortable talking about their feelings and mental health, it’s not exactly the way American society raised men their age (late 40s/early 50s) to be.
Bateman then talked about how success shows you who you are – as ‘it triggers a permissive environment around you.’
And he complimented Cooper, saying:
“What’s great about your incredible level of success is that it did the opposite of what is traditional and cliché in this business.
“It allowed you to be as kind and vulnerable and human as you innately are, with no fear of that being misinterpreted.”
But instead of recognizing the honesty, growth, and maturity Cooper revealed during the conversation, the headline in Vulture read:
“9-Time Oscar Loser Bradley Cooper Claims Hollywood Mocks Him”
But that’s so misleading – and unfair.
It’s not representative of the conversation the men had – or what Cooper said.
And why did the editor need to refer to Cooper as an Oscar ‘loser’?
Daniel Day-Lewis has six Oscar nominations. Is he a three-time winner – or a three-time loser?
Meryl Streep has been nominated for 21 Oscars, and won three.
Should she be referred to as an 18-time loser?
And instead of calling out the director or actress for their rude comments, the reporter presented Cooper as a complainer, calling him ‘chronically insecure’ for taking those ‘jokes’ seriously.
Seriously?
Cooper may be a sensitive person (most artists are), but it’s fair to say that those comments would sting – especially coming from people he admired.
Maybe some people could shake them off – but despite what the ‘sticks and stones’ rhyme told us as kids, words do hurt us.
The way Cooper talks about himself it’s clear that he was an asshole.
But at least he’s big enough to admit it – and given the way the men talked to each other in this podcast, it sure seems that Cooper had changed for the better.
He’s learned that ‘mean humor’ isn’t the only way to get attention.
More journalists need to learn that, too.
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Beth Collier loves writing, pop culture, and seeing people use their power to do good.
She also loves helping companies, leaders, and teams improve their communication (and creativity and leadership) through consulting, coaching, and workshops.
Her clients benefit from Beth’s global corporate experience, Midwestern practicality and enthusiasm – and an endless supply of pop culture references.
To find out how Beth can help you become a more confident, creative, and compelling leader – or improve communication in your company – visit www.beth-collier.com or drop her a line at beth@beth-collier.com