Will this system really change your life?

When I was in my 20s, I took advice from older people as gospel. 

Raised to respect my elders, I expected someone 20 years older than me would be a fountain of knowledge. 

And I was always ready and eager to drink it up.

But now I look at advice like a pick-a-mix candy display.

No, I don’t want any of that black licorice…

There’s a lot on offer.

Some of it’s good.

But some of it’s terrible. 

And yesterday I saw a tweet from a man named Tobi who was offering advice.

It said:

“Over the past 10 years, I have earned a Ph.D. & got promoted to CEO while having 6 kids.”

The tweet in question

Already my eyebrow was rising.

I’d never heard of this guy, and I wasn’t reading his story in the Financial Times or The Wall Street Journal.

I wanted more information. 

Anyone can start a business today and make themselves CEO. He might work at a small company. His family could own the company for all I know.

Being CEO doesn’t mean you’re a billionaire or incredibly wise.

But it was the ‘while having 6 kids’ bit that really caught me.

That’s what I really wanted to know more about.

But before we get into that, you may be wondering how Tobi has achieved such great feats in the last decade.

Well, his ‘secret’ to keeping it under control is one small habit.

“It’s not sexy, but it’s essential,” he writes.

Ooh, let’s hear it, Tobi.

He then goes onto talk about to do lists, and checking your inbox, reviewing your calendar.

Groundbreaking advice, right?

Now I’m not saying that simple actions like these won’t help your productivity. 

Maybe someone reading that thinks, “Wow, I should check my inbox – why didn’t I think of that?” 

And if that advice helps them, great.

But here’s what really bugs me about a man who beats his chest about work and family achievements in this way – He isn’t giving credit where credit is due.

For Tobi to do all of this, there is likely a woman (or possibly team of people) who help make it all possible. 

Tobi didn’t ‘have’ 6 kids. His partner did. 

She is the one who has spent 4 ½ years of the last decade growing humans. And probably an equal amount of time recovering from growing those humans. 

And while Tobi has been at the library and advancing his career, who is helping her? 

Who is tending to the six kids while Tobi studies? Who is helping them with their homework? Feeding them? Doing the grocery shopping? Arranging the playdates? Buying presents for their birthdays?

Who is monitoring the kids’ school group whatsapps for updates, and remembering when to wear PE kit or the details for Sports Day? Volunteering at the School Fair? Getting a costume for the Egyptian Day at school?

Taking them to school? Picking them up? Making sure they get spots in the school clubs and weekend football team, and that they always have a clean uniform and healthy snack when they’re there?

There are a TON of things that have to be done that aren’t “sexy” – but they are essential to running a home and family. 

And any CEO who is able to give 100% focus to their career is enabled because they have someone in their life taking care of everything else.

Few executives come home and compliment their partner on the sparkling kitchen floor or perfectly folded towels in the cupboard. I doubt Tobi does – that is, unless it’s on the To Do List.

As you might expect, I was not the only one rolling my eyes at Tobi’s post – and he got the twitter treatment his lack of awareness deserved.

He apologized, and commented that his wife was ‘his rock.’

OK, cool. Let’s move on. He’s learned something, that’s great.

But then – PLOT TWIST – I was reminded that Twitter may forgive, but it never forgets.

Although Tobi deleted the entire thread about his magical system (and thus the criticism he received for it), another user reminded him that he posted the *exact thread* back in March.

Mary Ellen is here - and she has the receipts!

And he had been called out for failing to acknowledge or appreciate his partner at the time. 

He apologized then, too, but omitted his wife completely (again) when he posted the same thread three months later.

So though he said he ‘learned his lesson’, I’m fully expecting to see Tobi posting about his magical system in a few months…

Don’t fall for it, folks. 

Tobi’s clearly still got a lot to learn.

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Beth Collier loves writing, pop culture, and life-changing To Do Lists.

She also loves helping companies, leaders, and teams improve their communication (and creativity and leadership) through consulting, coaching, and workshops.

Her clients benefit from Beth’s global corporate experience, Midwestern practicality and enthusiasm – and an endless supply of pop culture references.

To find out how Beth can help you become a more confident, creative, and compelling leader – or improve communication in your company – visit www.beth-collier.com or drop her a line at beth@beth-collier.com