The Real Takeaway from Meghan and Harry's Interview

Oprah finally got her sit down with Meghan and Harry. During their chat, Meghan revealed how her mental health suffered when she was living in the UK – to the point where she had suicidal thoughts. Harry revealed how hurt he felt when his family didn’t support him. And a cloud of racism hung over the conversation.

And immediately people were quick to respond with support or criticism. The polarity Meghan referenced in her interview is evident in so much of the coverage. Either it’s #TeamSussex or #TeamRoyals. 
As I read articles dissecting the interview (from both sides of the pond), it’s interesting how little space people have left for grey.

It feels like people have forgotten – or ignored – that this wasn’t a trial where both parties presented evidence. We heard one side’s version of events. Buckingham Palace/The Firm/The Institution will probably have a different version of events, and if they want to give a sit-down interview and tell their side, they can. I’m sure many journalists would be happy to get that exclusive.

But we can probably all agree that the expectations put on Meghan in 2018 were huge. She – like any woman joining the Royal family – has been scrutinized from her avocados to her clothing, and earrings. That would be difficult for anyone. Surely we can have some empathy for how it must feel to be catapulted to the world’s stage while your every move was analyzed. And at the same time she was trying to impress her future family, her own family was trashing her in the news.

Can’t we support both of them?

In the interview, Meghan reminded us that we never know what happens behind closed doors. She claimed that when she was suffering with suicidal thoughts, she reached out for help from HR and didn’t get it. This is a serious allegation, and by sharing her story, she has shone a light that mental health issues can – and do – affect anyone. It sounds like she’s feeling better now, and isn’t that what we hope for anyone who’s been suffering or in pain?

And speaking of pain, before Oprah’s interview aired, a story emerged that a complaint was made against Meghan in 2018 alleging that she had bullied some of her staff. Meghan’s spokesperson responded saying Meghan was ‘saddened’ by the claims, ‘particularly as someone who has been the target of bullying herself.’ But was this a ‘smear campaign’ as Meghan’s spokesperson called it, or are there other people whose voices were silenced when they were suffering? 

It’s not wealthy Royals alleging Meghan abused them or made them cry – it’s junior employees. People who weren’t well-paid and may have been in the early years of their careers. Surely we can all remember how it feels to be in the early years of your career and wanting (and failing) to please your boss. It’s possible that Meghan and her employees had different expectations – and that the roles and responsibilities weren’t communicated clearly. 

Given the pressure Meghan was under, it’s possible that she may have behaved poorly toward her staff.  Many people behave poorly when they are under pressure. It doesn’t mean they are bad people – it means they are human and fallible like any of us. 

So, what next?

Two days after the interview aired in the US, Buckingham Palace issued a statement that ‘the whole family is saddened to learn the full extent of how challenging the last few years have been for Harry and Meghan.’ 

They also noted ‘the issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning’ but then added that ‘some recollections may vary.’ While they say the issues ‘will be addressed by the family privately’ people will be playing a guessing game about which Royal questioned ‘how dark’ Baby Archie would be. Harry said he wouldn’t name names – but did rule out (no pun intended) the Queen and Prince Philip as suspects.  

Speculation has begun…

I don’t know what Meghan and Harry hoped to achieve with the interview. It sounds like they went through a difficult experience and feel like they’ve emerged much happier. They’ve made lucrative Netflix and Spotify deals and are living in a $14 million mansion an ocean away from the Royal Family. That probably helps. 

But they are still privileged, and complaining about their situation during a pandemic may have been ill-timed. Most people do not have the financial means that they have, nor the well-connected friends who offer up their oceanside mansions gratis in times of trouble. People are suffering by losing family members to Covid, losing their jobs, losing their livelihoods. Oprah’s not coming to hear their stories.

What I took away from the interview and the aftermath was how much people are hurting. Meghan and Harry, Meghan’s father (who can’t seem to say no when Good Morning Britain calls), and surely the ‘working members’ of the Royal Family who have (temporarily?) lost part of their family.

If they truly want to heal their relationships, their best move is to stop talking – and start listening.