Three Tips to More Successful Networking

In-person events are returning – but many of us may find our networking skills have gotten rusty after the last two years.

But fear not, friends, I’m here to share some of the lessons I’ve learned from some painful networking experiences.

Because whether you love it or loathe it, networking is crucial to building the contacts that can help your career or business succeed.

Whether you’re working the room or working the zoom, if you follow these tips, you’ll have a better chance of enjoying networking – and making an actual connection with someone.

Here are three tips:

1.Be curious

I signed up for a 45-minute virtual networking session during Covid. Just for fun, I decided to open with a question and see how long the person I was paired with would talk before he asked me a question. 

The answer?

37 minutes.

“Oh, but I want to hear about you,” he said, despite the evidence to the contrary.

“I saw you made a post on LinkedIn about tennis.” 

“Yes, I haven’t seen a live match in so long,” I replied.

“That reminds me of the time I went to the French Open,” he began.

And he carried on with another story, taking up the last few minutes of our call. 

I did not get to offer my French Open story, or tell him I’ve been to all four of the tennis grand slams. But it didn’t matter – he didn’t care. 

Networking is like a game of tennis. You aren’t out there working on your serve alone. You’re meant to be hitting the ball to another person – and they’re meant to hit it back to you.

Remember what Dale Carnegie said, “To be interesting, be interested.”

If you find yourself doing all the talking, stop — and hit the ball to someone else.

2. Be humble

I recently met Tom (not his real name), a photographer and writer who told me he lived in New York City and ‘across Europe.’  Tom and I both have newsletters on Substack.  Tom told me his newsletter was doing ‘VERY well.’

“That’s great,” I said. “I’m just getting started with mine. Do you have any tips for growing your readership?” 

“Well…” Tom began with a smirk, “I’m very well known in the industry. People really seek me out.”

Cool, Tom. I’ve never heard of you before, and guess what, I won’t be seeking you out.

Could you imagine Stephen King introducing himself as a well-known writer?

Maybe you are very well known, and if that’s the case, you won’t have to tell anyone. They’ll know!

I’m not saying you need to downplay your success, but why not communicate your success and confidence by sharing your knowledge instead of blowing your trumpet?

3. Be appropriate

Let me keep this really simple. Don’t talk about sex – or anything sexual – when you first meet someone at a business networking event. That seems obvious, but a lot of people need to hear this.

I recently met a man at a networking event who asked me if I liked living in London.

“It’s a great city,” I said, “and it’s nice to be able to get out again.”

“There’s some weird shit that goes on in this town,” he said. “Ever been to a torture party?” 

Have I been to a torture party? No.

Do I want to go to a torture party? No. 

Do I wish I could un-hear everything he told me about his experience at a torture party? HELL YES.

Over the years I (and my female friends) have shared stories of men who told us about their low sperm count, their prostate, and how effective Viagra is.

At business events. Unprompted.

And we’ve all had the same reaction – Why are you telling me this!? 

General rule of thumb: When meeting new people at business events, steer clear of politics, religion, and stories about anyone’s penis.

Happy Networking, Friends!

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Want to improve your networking skills? Great! It starts with communication.

Beth Collier loves helping companies, leaders, and teams improve their communication (and creativity and leadership) through consulting, coaching, and workshops.

Her clients benefit from Beth’s global corporate experience, Midwestern practicality and enthusiasm – and an endless supply of pop culture references.

To find out how Beth can help you become a more confident, creative, and compelling leader – or improve communication in your company – visit www.beth-collier.com or drop her a line at beth@beth-collier.com

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