When Will It Be Enough?
As a US citizen who loves to travel to other parts of the world, I’ve been inundated over the years with questions about my home country. Sometimes they are silly – like when someone in the 90s asked me if all Americans wear red bathing suits like in Baywatch.
“Yes, and we all run in slow motion on the beach, too,” I said with a smile.
As I’ve lived away from the US for most of my adult life, I’ve often been asked to opine on all kinds of questions about the US government and culture.
I’ve been asked to explain the decisions of three presidents, why Americans have so little vacation time, and why our tipping system is the way it is. The questions are endless.
And I’m happy to offer my take on the country and home I love. But there is one issue that I can’t explain – because it just doesn’t make sense to me.
Guns.
I didn’t grow up with guns in my house. I never saw a gun at a friend’s house growing up either. There were kids who would go hunting (usually boys with their dads), so I’m sure some of the kids I went to school with had access to guns. But it wasn’t part of my life growing up.
The first major school shooting I remember was Columbine in 1999. But even earlier than that, I had grown up with the story of the shooting in my small town in Indiana – at the high school I would attend.
It happened in 1983 – I was too young to remember it. But I can remember when my teacher, Mr. Lowe, told our 9th grade health class about hearing the gunshots coming from down the hall. Two boys were fighting over a girl. One boy took a 44 magnum from his dad’s collection and shot the other boy four times at point blank range, paralyzing him.
When I moved to New Zealand in 2004, I’d constantly get asked about guns. I used to tell people, “We don’t all have guns in America!” I’d also make jokes about storing my gun collection at the Los Angeles airport, and tell them when I flew home from New Zealand, I would check out my guns (like books at a library). I then quickly told them I was joking – as a worrying amount of people did not seem surprised by this imaginary gun access process.
In 2006, I brought my New Zealand-born boyfriend to the US for the first time. I wanted him to grasp how big America was – and how different – so we spent almost a month traveling from coast to coast, with a long stop in my stomping grounds, the Midwest.
“The US is different from what you see on TV and in Michael Moore documentaries,” I told him.
“We don’t all have guns. We don’t get them when we open bank accounts.”
But we hadn’t been on American soil for a week when I had a moment of cringe.
We were waiting in line for a taxi outside a Las Vegas hotel when we overheard the conversation of two men with deep southern accents in front of us.
They were talking about guns.
They had just returned from a nearby shooting range where they “didn’t check ID or nothin’” and you could shoot “AKs and machine guns.”
My boyfriend was silent but he gave me a knowing grin.
“It’s a big country,” I said. “We’ve got all kinds.”
But as more and more shootings have taken place over the years, it’s become increasingly difficult to use that as an explanation.
When I was growing up, gun violence was something that was associated with robberies, gangs, and the occasional post office.
But now you’ve got people shooting randomly in nightclubs, in movie theatres, and in grocery stores.
When did Americans just accept this as part of our culture?
For years I used to wonder what it would take for things to change. In 2012, I thought we’d reached the tipping point. That’s when Sandy Hook happened – and when 20 children (ages 6-7) and six educators were murdered in a school.
Children.
Surely that would be the moment when Americans came together – regardless of their political leanings – and said, “No more.”
But it wasn’t.
And if that wasn’t the moment when the tides turned, then what will it take?
In April 2021 I woke up to the headline: At least eight people were killed in a shooting in Indianapolis. Immediately I thought about all of the people I know in Indianapolis – my dad, my friends, and their families. It was a fear that struck me four years ago when there was a shooting in the Fort Lauderdale airport, the day my sister and five-year-old niece were there catching a flight.
The randomness of these attacks means we’re all vulnerable – whether we’re going to work or just living our lives at a concert or a spa or a shopping mall.
People will cling to the 2nd Amendment, and say Americans have the right to bear arms. You’ll hear them say it was such an important right that ‘the Founding Fathers put it in the Constitution.’
But what would the Founding Fathers say about our use of guns in America today?
Does anyone really think this was what they had in mind?
When I was a kid we did tornado drills at school, because we needed to learn how to protect ourselves in case the most awful thing – a tornado! – struck our school.
Now kids have shooting drills – learning what to do if an active shooter is in their school. I understand that this is done to protect kids, but how are we not embarrassed by this? This is not something I want my son and daughter to worry about – or anyone else’s.
Kids shouldn’t have to worry about their safety at school.
I don’t think it’s realistic to get rid of guns in America - but surely we can agree that there is a need for better safety measures and checks. We have stoplights and seat belts to protect us when we’re in our cars - and they have not ruined the freedom of driving.
I don’t know what the answer to this problem is, but I know that it will take more than thoughts and prayers to solve it.
It will take people putting what’s best for the country ahead of the desires of the individual.
It will take courage for politicians to value people’s lives over money, and stand up to powerful lobbyists and the NRA.
It will be hard to change laws – and even harder to change attitudes.
But I want to believe the country known for doing the impossible can do it.
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Beth Collier loves helping companies, leaders, and teams improve their communication (and creativity and leadership) through consulting, coaching, and workshops.
Her clients benefit from Beth’s global corporate experience, Midwestern practicality and enthusiasm – and an endless supply of pop culture references.
To find out how Beth can help you become a more confident, creative, and compelling leader – or improve communication in your company – visit www.beth-collier.com or drop her a line at beth@beth-collier.com
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